Reading more PK Dick before work i came on several passages of relevance to the dream novel. it seems Dick was also familiar and concerned with mythological themes and their application to his life (as i imagine every writer must be to some degree). but as the inexplicableness of his transcendent experience took hold of him this was the only place he could turn to make heads or tails out of whatever had actually happened, which could otherwise be considered madness; much the way i am doing with my dream visions. indeed there are many parallels, of most note that when he had looked deep into the void he was shown he found in the heart of it and himself a beautiful and all knowing woman, his anima; whom he associated with the goddess Sophia, who in xtian mythology Christ promised would come to those who embraced the light through the dark night of their souls (i will have to find this reference, probably in the Gnostic texts), as the Glory figure came to me when i was struggling with the end of my internal world and disintegration of the self.
Dick also said he found that void to be God, the awareness in all things behind their apparent, separated, realities, who was both more real and ineffable. the way that in my San Pedro trip I found what i could only call God in the hollow behind all things, yet could only describe it as a comfortable absence that was aware of the entirety of existence. Dick remarked that no one else (in his knowledge) had had this experience in the past 200 years, and i wonder that i should also come to a similar place, even down to the anamnesia of the Record, and if this kind of awakening is becoming more common. especially as the ages of consciousness expanding drugs and information make connectivity and the concept of omniscience more obvious and essential to modern life. one could probably make an argument for the exteriorization of the sub- or unconscious, where it was latent or hidden before. as the pantheon of gods (cross-cultural) could be seen as a finer-grained pattern of ourselves, our hopes and fears, desires and other subtle energies (which it has been postulated they were created to represent in the first place, for lack of better terminology or understanding of our inner workings), so too could the gods be seen as a rough-hewn emanation from some deeper, lighter source or pattern that runs beneath and shapes all things. the matrix metaphor points to this condition, but as this matrix is but matter or mother (Ma’at), it is more related to the veil of maya, the ground of appearances, Dick’s black iron prison; and not to whatever energy or awareness lies formless behind the forms.
in talking with sophie about her process of coming out of her darkness (the shamanistic rebirth or psychological individuation process), she mentioned having to find a “positive energy” to rely on, though she was understandably hesitant to call it God, as AA usually tells its participants to turn to. i suggested there was nothing in the energy itself which is positive, that it is our perception and use of it which casts it in either that dark or light. one could argue it is that same energy (or our refusal of it) that drives people to drink or madness, and the acceptance of something larger than themselves to trust in which leads them back to a sense of peace or heightened presence in themselves and the world. i suppose it is many things for many people, that some find it necessary to couch this energy in terms of myth or religion in order to match their own peculiar symbolism of the world, but that ultimately it doesn’t matter what you call it, as it is inexpressible outside of metaphor and imagination. of course, that the energy is chargeless (for lack of a better word to describe its dual positivity/ negativity), means that many choose consciously to embrace its dark face, the madness of the world of forms, the secret longings and highs and powers of sex and violence which currently seem to be driving our world. but these are just as much a “path to god” as the more ascetic, pure paths, as evidenced by the tradition of tantra, in which instead of drawing the senses away from the world in order to find what is beneath them, one purposely overloads the senses until they reach a breaking point, and find the still emptiness that resides in the chaos. our culture is currently in such a process of overloading itself with information and images (infornography).
i suppose the distinction is that like breeds like, and that increasing the amount of sensory stimuli or violence in the world only creates more of a maze to extricate ourselves from later. certainly in the early days of disentangling my dreams i found myself relying heavily on metaphors and symbolism to explain my experiences, only to find that they were creating that much more of a labyrinth between me and reality. this continued until i asked the zen master Chong Hae what this dream was i could not wake up from, and he said it was all the theories and images we put on top of reality in order to avoid just having it be reality itself. as Dick tells it in an amusing argument with God, each time he came up with some other theory besides having met God, he fell into an infinite regress of thesis/ antithesis, at which God would butt in saying, “i am this infinity, and i will play this game until you die or accept it” at which Dick would say “but maybe…” and fall into another infinite regress, ad nauseum.
